Do you have dark matter on your calendar? Do you know what dark matter is? That’s OK – no one actually does yet. See, we think that a good portion of the universe is made up of dark matter but we don’t understand what it is exactly. We think it exists because it accounts for the matter thats missing in all the equations. It explains a lot by being there.
So, do you have stuff on your day to day calendar that’s taking up time, energy and even resources that you can’t explain?
Then you have dark matter on your calendar.
Doing nothing isn’t nothing
You will find that doing nothing actually isn’t nothing. And it can cost a great deal of time, energy and even resources doing this nothing.
Let me give you an example –
We all have this friend, or co worker that is in a bad position – they don’t like the relationship they are in, or they really dislike their job, or there’s something they want to do but can’t. Right…?
So they spend a lot of time telling you about it; they don’t just mention it in passing but instead tell you over and over again. Your response is to try to fix it, offer advice, stuff like that. But they don’t listen. They keep telling you essentially the same story over and over. When you offer whats seems to be a fairly obvious solution to their dilemma they don’t take it to heart. Instead they deflect and avoid and just dig even deeper into this issue – over and over again. They are not just spending their time; they’re spending yours.
When someone is complaining and pontificating about an issue that is near and dear to them, they do it with considerable vigor and emotion. This takes energy – more energy than reciting a grocery list. Getting up on that soapbox – again and again – takes considerable energy. And, somehow finding something to talk about with you when you present logical solutions takes even more energy. Yours too.
The typical non solution to a problem in the type of situation we’re talking about is to go grab a drink, complain, repeat, slowly smolder away into oblivion. Those drinks ain’t free you know. And we could mention the ‘opportunity cost’ of sitting around having a drink over and over again instead of perhaps pursuing something more constructive and possibly profitable.
Listen to the podcast for more.
My new book, The Status Game, has a release date of today! Check out my Author’s corner on Amazon to see it. It’s a no fluff book explaining how we connect, how dating works and the mechanics of relationships.
It’s a bit more irreverent than my podcasts, since you really have to have a sense of humor about dating…
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- Dark Matter on your calendar – AFL Podcast - April 1, 2018
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- Interview: John – AFL Podcast - March 11, 2018
- Interview: Cecily – AFL Podcast - March 4, 2018
- Interview: Tamara – AFL Podcast - February 25, 2018
- Interview: Christina – AFL Podcast - February 18, 2018
- Inertia. AFL Podcast - February 4, 2018
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- AFL Podcast: The Endeavor Board - January 21, 2018
- Resilience is a system - January 14, 2018
- Obnoxious eMails - January 9, 2018
- This is what you will do. - January 1, 2018
- What will you do? - January 1, 2018
- The storyteller – AFL Podcast - December 17, 2017
- Resolutions are bad – AFL Podcast - December 9, 2017
- Why do you live here? AFL Podcast - December 3, 2017
- Balance and Holidays AFL podcast - November 26, 2017
- Time and Eating – AFL Podcast - November 23, 2017