{"id":2399,"date":"2021-06-13T02:42:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-13T02:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/?p=2399"},"modified":"2025-06-30T15:37:26","modified_gmt":"2025-06-30T15:37:26","slug":"path-of-least-resistance-and-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/2021\/06\/13\/path-of-least-resistance-and-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Path of least resistance and communication"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I’ve talked about The Five Love Languages<\/em> a number of times. That concept talks about how we express and accept love in one of five ways (its usually a mixture). It’s a good read.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what about communication? I’m not saying (yet) that there are five communication love languages*, but consider how we communicate and a very powerful thing: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Path of least resistance<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Simply put, something will seek out the easiest route from point a to point b<\/strong>. We see it in flowing water, government, customer service, decision making and relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes it is affected by other forces like morals, ethics, policies, relationship status and comfort levels. It’s this metaphorical seeking the path of least resistance I want to tell you about, and perhaps help you to avoid pitfalls therein.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your communication<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

How do you communicate with others\u2014friends, family, customers, clients, vendors, etc.?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously you only communicate on a professional level with the mailman, the cashier, your boss, etc, right? But what if relationships overlap? I’m not talking about a torrid love affair with the UPS man\u2014as much as you might want to see that on The Hallmark channel. I’m talking about how it is ingrained in us\u2014almost like a metaphorical physics\u2014to follow the path of least resistance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you establish a friendship with someone on top of a professional relationship, it will NOT be the path of least resistance to have them use the professional one to communicate. It will be the friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boom. That’s big. That’s huge, and that’s potentially a train wreck for you and them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of least resistance is the friendly, warm, comfortable, familiar, rule-bending and\/or ignoring path. The path will be the friendship. On the extreme side, this is the downfall of many people who have relationships in the workplace. The path of least resistance (the relationship) is formed, and then a lot of expectations and communications change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not summarily a bad thing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

OK let me stop you right here. I am not saying this is a bad thing. If you are a fan of my stuff then you know that the vast majority of what I do is explain how something works<\/em><\/strong> and not tell you what to do<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I’m not telling you what to do<\/em><\/strong>,<\/span> I’m not<\/em> saying you should never have both in your life (this is essentially impossible, unless you are a monster). I’m just explaining to you how these things work. In my own life I have many overlaps as it’s sort of hard not to form friendships with people you respect and appreciate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, be wary of this kind of thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Familiarity breeds contempt<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

That old phase refers to relationships and marriages. Being in a long-standing relationship can create this sort of environment. My own opinion on this is not familiarity, but the trust<\/em> and comfort zone<\/em> created. Any long-standing relationship with a large comfort zone is ripe for this to happen. It’s a lot easier to have an outburst, or mistreat someone you know cares about you than it is to run outside and shout at a mailman you have never met. Trust is good. Comfort zones are normal. Using them as a crutch for mistreatment is not. Yet another thing to be wary of. If you don’t honor both you honor neither.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    \n
  • Be aware of overlapping relationships with others of any kind<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Understand that it takes effort NOT to follow the path of least resistance and that its the default when that path of communication is available<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Set boundaries early on. This is certainly no easy task because sometimes you find yourself in a friendship long after it is established, and sometimes it seems like such a trivial thing to set these boundaries. It may even seem petty. It can be difficult. The earlier you catch it and establish that you have both, the easier it is for both parties to be aware of it and honor both. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n\n
    *No I'm not writing a book on this.  As far as you know.
    <\/pre>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n\n
    <\/pre>\n\n\n\n
    Transcript<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    <\/p>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n\n
    You’re listening to the Mark Bradford Alchemy for Life podcast<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
    Introduction to Communication vs. Love Languages<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    You\u2019re listening to the Mark Bradford Alchemy for Life<\/em> podcast.
    If you don\u2019t honor both, you honor neither.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Well, hey there, welcome back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019ve talked about the five love languages a number of times. That concept talks about how we express and accept love in one of five ways. It\u2019s usually a mixture, and it\u2019s a good read. But what about communication?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Understanding the Path of Least Resistance<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m not saying yet that there are five communication love languages, but consider how we communicate and one very powerful thing: the path of least resistance. Allow me to insult your intelligence and explain to you what the path of least resistance is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    The path of least resistance, simply put, is that something will seek out the easiest route from point A to point B. We see it in flowing water, government, customer service, decision-making, and relationships. Sometimes it\u2019s affected by other forces, and the path is pulled hither and thither by morals, ethics, policies, your relationship status, and even your comfort levels. It\u2019s this metaphorical seeking\u2014the path of least resistance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Overlapping Relationships and Communication Challenges<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    I want to tell you about it now and perhaps help you avoid pitfalls therein your communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    How do you communicate with others? Your friends, your family, your customers, your clients, your vendors, etc.? Obviously, you only communicate on a very professional level with the mailman, the cashier, your boss, right? But what if relationships overlap? Oh, oh\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m not talking about a torrid love affair with the UPS man. Oh, right\u2014as much as you might want to see that on the Hallmark Channel. I hear you laughing, I know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m talking about how it\u2019s ingrained in us almost like metaphorical physics to follow the path of least resistance. If you establish a friendship with someone on top of a professional relationship, it will not be the path of least resistance to have them use the professional one to communicate\u2014it will be the friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Boom! That\u2019s big, that\u2019s even bigger than big, that\u2019s huge, and that\u2019s potentially a train wreck for you and them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    The Friendly Path: Pros and Cons<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    See, the path of least resistance is the friendly, the warm, comfortable, familiar, rule-bending and\/or ignoring path\u2014the path that will be the friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    On the extreme side, this is the downfall of many people who have relationships in the workplace. The path of least resistance\u2014the relationship is formed\u2014and then a lot of expectation and communications change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Okay, it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing, and I don\u2019t want to give you that impression, so let me stop you right there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Explaining, Not Advising<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s a bad thing. If you\u2019re a fan of my stuff, then you know that the vast majority of what I do is explain how something works and not tell you what to do, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, it\u2019s kind of like you pass by something and I go, \u201cHey, hey, you see that?\u201d And you\u2019re like, \u201cWell, yeah, I see that.\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, no, no, look right there.\u201d And then you look right at it, and I\u2019m like, \u201cYeah, do you see that?\u201d And you\u2019re like, \u201cYeah, I see it now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, you see it now?\u201d because you were kind of passing by that and completely ignoring it. You could have tripped on that. Oh, okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    And I don\u2019t tell you, \u201cWell, you should walk around that, you should move it,\u201d and I\u2019m like, \u201cI just want to point it out. I\u2019m just pointing it out to you\u2014that\u2019s all I\u2019m doing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Overlapping Relationships Are Normal<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    So, I\u2019m just making you aware of how relationships overlap and what happens when they do. So, let me continue with telling you that it\u2019s not a bad thing, and again, I\u2019m not telling you what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019m not saying you should never have both in your life, and quite realistically, this is essentially impossible unless you\u2019re some kind of monster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, you\u2019re going to form relationships with people; you\u2019re going to form friendships with people that you see fairly often. People fall in love at work; people meet their wife that way sometimes. It\u2019s just the way that we are\u2014as warm, feeling, caring humans. It\u2019s going to happen. It\u2019s going to happen repeatedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    But how you separate the two makes a big difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Familiarity Breeds Contempt?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    In my own life, I have many overlaps, and it\u2019s sort of hard not to form friendships with people you respect and appreciate, right? So just be wary of this\u2014and wary is a form of awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Let\u2019s talk about the phrase familiarity breeds contempt.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, that old phrase really refers to relationships and marriages\u2014that\u2019s really what the origin of it is: being in a long-standing relationship can create this sort of environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Comfort Zones and Boundaries<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    My own opinion, personally, on this is that it\u2019s not really the familiarity but the trust and the comfort zone created. Because any long-standing relationship with a large comfort zone is just ripe for this to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    It\u2019s a lot easier to have an outburst or mistreat someone you know cares about you than it is to run outside and shout at the mailman you\u2019ve never met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    \u201cExcuse me, good sir, you have delivered my mail incorrectly. You will be hearing from my lawyer,\u201d as opposed to just yelling at someone because you think they did something wrong or kind of leveraging the relationship in that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, it\u2019s a good thing that can be used in a very bad way, in a very hurtful way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, trust is good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Comfort zones are normal, but using them as a crutch for mistreatment is not. That\u2019s yet another thing to be aware of because if you don\u2019t honor both, you honor neither.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    What I mean by that is, if you don\u2019t honor that you have a friendship and you don\u2019t honor that you have a business relationship, if you don\u2019t honor them both then you\u2019re not honoring either one of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Though, I like the way I said it first\u2014don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Summary and Bullet Points<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    Okay, let me summarize for you in some bullet points, which is what I\u2019d love to do, honoring your time, energy, and resources.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    First bullet point is, like many things I bring to your attention, literally bringing to your attention\u2014be aware of overlapping relationships with others of any kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I mean, just be aware of them. You may have them. You may not have even thought of them until just now, or you may be like, \u201cYou know, look Mark, I get it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    \u201cI have a friendship with someone who\u2019s a co-worker. I have a friendship with my boss,\u201d da da da da. You get that, especially if you have a relationship with someone of a romantic kind with someone at work\u2014your boss, your\u2014you know, those are particularly delicate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Second bullet point is: understand that it takes effort. It actually takes more effort not to follow the path of least resistance, and that path of least resistance by default happens to be the path of communication when you have a friendship above and beyond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    This is the one you\u2019re going to laugh about because I\u2019m going to show you that the barn doors are open and I\u2019m going to say, \u201cHey, you should close those,\u201d and you\u2019re going to say, \u201cYeah, but now the horses are in Europe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    So set boundaries early on, and it\u2019s certainly no easy task, because sometimes you find yourself in a friendship long after it\u2019s established, and sometimes it seems like such a trivial thing to set the boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    It may even seem petty\u2014in fact, it probably does. It probably rubs you the wrong way right now for me to say, \u201cHey, you should set boundaries with these people,\u201d and you\u2019re like, \u201cDude, they\u2019re my friend, they\u2019re my good friends, they\u2019ve been friends for years,\u201d da da da da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    But I\u2019m just saying the earlier you can catch and establish that you have both, the easier it is for both parties\u2014you and them\u2014to be aware of it and honor both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    As I said before, maybe you can\u2019t go back 10 years into a relationship with someone and go, \u201cHey, we should set some boundaries now.\u201d Maybe that would be a very difficult thing. Maybe it\u2019s something you don\u2019t need to do. Maybe it\u2019s something that you desperately need to do. Or maybe just going forward you understand that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    And again, this is not to insult your intelligence or your emotional intelligence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I know that we all get things like this, but sometimes there are things in life that are common sense, that are things that make complete sense to very intelligent people that we totally miss. This is one of them. So, thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Closing and Clubhouse Invitation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    And I want to tack on one thing at the end here, and that is I want to let you know that I\u2019m in Clubhouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    I\u2019ve been just having some fun conversations just like this podcast with people all over the world about the podcasts and about the whole Alchemy for Life<\/em> system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Please join me on there. You\u2019ll see, if you\u2019re following me in any way, shape, or form, you will see links to the rooms and so forth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    And the rooms that crop up\u2014I tend to give at least a two-day warning for people so that they can put them on their schedule and so forth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    And because it is a live chat, obviously time zone matters. If you are in India, like\u2014I have a decent amount of followers in India\u2014you know, we may be a little out of sync in that way, but, you know, do your best. Just like I do my best to be at your Clubhouses at 3 in the morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    So, I just want to let you know that I\u2019m on there, and that I\u2019ll hit you with the regular bumper music here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    So, thank you so much again, and I always appreciate you listening. Take care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Hey there, thanks for listening. I always appreciate your feedback\u2014I really, really do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Wanted to let you know that the Sword and the Sunflower<\/em> audiobook won Best New Author for 2020.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    My podcast is available wherever you consume podcasts, and my books are available on Amazon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    Take care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n\n
    <\/p>\n\n\n\n
    <\/p>\n
    \n