{"id":2870,"date":"2022-11-07T15:17:50","date_gmt":"2022-11-07T15:17:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/?p=2870"},"modified":"2022-11-07T15:17:53","modified_gmt":"2022-11-07T15:17:53","slug":"the-tension-of-disagreement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/2022\/11\/07\/the-tension-of-disagreement\/","title":{"rendered":"The tension of disagreement"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tension<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We&#8217;ve talked about tension before.  We&#8217;ve talked about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/2018\/10\/07\/resting-and-tension\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"Resting and Tension\">tension vs. something being at rest<\/a> and what that means for us.  But now I want to talk about the tension of disagreement.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Everything&#8217;s going to be OK<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Everything is going to be OK.  Does that relieve you?  It might, especially if it comes from a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/2018\/07\/29\/status-game-afl-podcast\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"The Status Game \u2013 afl podcast\">higher status individual<\/a>.  But it doesn&#8217;t really do anything.  It&#8217;s a perfectly acceptable phrase if you are doing everything you can, or you&#8217;re beaten up and need a break.  But what if you haven&#8217;t really even started working towards a goal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Try this<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Try this out.  You are single and really want to meet someone.  Do you prefer to say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t worry, there is a plan, I&#8217;ll will meet the right person \/ I can feel it \/ I know it&#8217;s in my future.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>or<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m never going to meet the right person.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well of course <em>EVERYONE<\/em> around you will scold you for saying the second one!  They will say that&#8217;s self sabotage, and that you are &#8220;putting that out into the universe&#8221; and that &#8220;You&#8217;re going to fail if you think that way.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I disagree.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But then there is nothing to do if you only immerse yourself in those other phrases  You&#8217;re removing the task, the fight, the struggle, the&#8230; <em><strong>tension<\/strong><\/em>.  Get it?   <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try it yourself.  I submit to you that if you say &#8220;God\/The Universe has a plan, everything will be fine&#8221; then you will be immersed in fuzzy, protective, useless warmth.     <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Winnie the pooh<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Now try the opposite.  &#8220;Oh my god this is NEVER going to work!&#8221; or &#8220;I am never going to meet someone great!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those are strong statements that your brain will <em>challenge<\/em>.  Your brain is made to challenge logic, and statements, and weigh statements.  If it&#8217;s wrong and you WILL meet someone your brain will then say &#8220;Well yes, if you keep doing THAT.  You have to think of something else&#8230; think think think!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your brain isn&#8217;t challenged and your problem solving ability is blanketed with it&#8217;s ok, everything will be OK and something will fall out of the sky if you always give yourself those statements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">With friends like these&#8230;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>OK, why do friends do that?  Why do they always just give you these statements?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because they don&#8217;t want to suffer.  If they tell you it will all be fine, then you&#8217;ll shut up, and then talk about something else, all the while silently suffering without a solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Greatness meets tension<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you do the research you will find that the people who accomplished the most didn&#8217;t avoid tension.  They saw the problems and recognized them head on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, try it at least once &#8211; look in the mirror, yell up and the ceiling and say &#8220;Wow, does this suck!&#8221; and see what happens next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It might just surprise you&#8230;<\/p>\n<div itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/AudioObject\"><meta itemprop=\"name\" content=\"The tension of disagreement\" \/><meta itemprop=\"uploadDate\" content=\"2022-11-07T15:17:50+00:00\" \/><meta itemprop=\"encodingFormat\" content=\"audio\/mpeg\" \/><meta itemprop=\"duration\" content=\"PT9M34S\" \/><meta itemprop=\"description\" content=\"\nTension\n\n\n\nWe&#039;ve talked about tension before.  We&#039;ve talked about tension vs. something being at rest and what that means for us.  But now I want to talk about the tension of disagreement.  \n\n\n\nEverything&#039;s going to be OK\n\n\n\nEverything is going to b...\" \/><meta itemprop=\"contentUrl\" content=\"https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3\" \/><meta itemprop=\"contentSize\" content=\"13.3\" \/><div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_7744\"><!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2870-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3\">https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><\/div><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/?powerpress_pinw=2870-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/alchemyfor.life\/podcasts\/tension2.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"tension2.mp3\">Download<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_subscribe_links\">Subscribe: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_rss\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe via RSS\" rel=\"nofollow\">RSS<\/a><\/p><!--powerpress_player-->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tension We&#8217;ve talked about tension before. We&#8217;ve talked about tension vs. something being at rest and what that means for us. But now I want to talk about the tension of disagreement. Everything&#8217;s going to be OK Everything is going to be OK. Does that relieve you? It might, especially if it comes from a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2874,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[39,248,40,41],"class_list":["post-2870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcasts","tag-dating","tag-friends","tag-relationships","tag-status"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2870"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2870\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2873,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2870\/revisions\/2873"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2874"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}