{"id":404,"date":"2017-10-08T05:00:17","date_gmt":"2017-10-08T05:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/?p=404"},"modified":"2017-10-08T04:22:44","modified_gmt":"2017-10-08T04:22:44","slug":"a-step-above","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alchemyfor.life\/balancecoaching\/2017\/10\/08\/a-step-above\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t buy that crazy vacuum!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Crazy Appliances<\/h2>\n

Would you buy dish soap that only works on a fork? \u00a0How about an oven that only works when you’re starving? \u00a0Maybe a vacuum cleaner that only works when you’re sad, and then you have to call a number to turn it on once you’re sad again?<\/p>\n

Does this all sound absurd? \u00a0Where am I going with this? \u00a0Have I had too many martinis?<\/p>\n

The answers are yes, they are analogies, and I wish.<\/p>\n

I’m referring to tools that we use that we expect to be universal. \u00a0Dish soap should pretty much work on anything that we want to wash in the kitchen. \u00a0An oven should work any time you want to use it, on anything you want to cook, within reason. \u00a0A vacuum cleaner should work regardless of your mood, and it should be your tool to control when you want to use it.<\/p>\n

So why would you purchase the bizarro appliances I mentioned? \u00a0I dunno, why do you pay for coaching that is only meant for you being sad, or getting a divorce, or “finding the real you” or 90 days to creativity’ or to “unlock your potential” or “look at me I’m famous now?”<\/p>\n

The difference between psychologists and coaches<\/h2>\n

I’m tired of saying “as I’ve said before” but, as I’ve said before, there’s a difference between a psychologist and a coach, a mentor and a consultant.<\/p>\n

On a scale of -10 to +10, with -10 being the most in need, mentally and emotionally, and +10 being pretty much the apex of humanity most of us operate in the plus zone, +4, +5, +6 etc. \u00a0Psychologists are trained to deal with people in the negatives. \u00a0In fact I had a good conversation recently with someone who runs a facility staffed by psychologists. \u00a0He told me that their job is to bring people to zero, up from the negatives. \u00a0In my opinion, that’s where a coach comes in – helping someone go from a +2 to a +5, etc.<\/p>\n

So again, what’s with the crazy appliances? \u00a0Well, it doesn’t make sense to sign up for, pay for and go through a system that focuses on a tiny issue that you’re having – temporarily. \u00a0Especially if this issue is intense enough to require a psychologist – then that’s just irresponsible.<\/p>\n

Let me give you some examples.<\/p>\n

In an alternate universe….<\/h2>\n

You are having a lot of difficulty in meeting the right person, you seem to ‘attract’ the wrong people and you are just exhausted from dating. \u00a0What do you do? \u00a0You go and buy some dish soup that only works on a fork! \u00a0Yeah, that’s it. \u00a0Er, I mean you hire a ‘dating coach.’ \u00a0Yep, and this person, without asking many questions, has you go through her wonderful program of ‘love in 90 days.’ \u00a0In this one-size-fits-all program you learn that you send out Magic Love Rays to everyone. \u00a0No, really. \u00a0Also, can I have more money?<\/p>\n

Meanwhile in this universe…<\/h2>\n

You realize that there is a big picture. \u00a0You want dish soap that works on forks, spoons, knives, dishes, plates, cheese graters and even the Kitchen Aid mixing bowl.<\/p>\n

\"balanceSo you sign up of Alchemy For Life. \u00a0You fill out the Balance Sheet, and you see that you don’t even have the energy to date right now – and in reviewing the sheet with the coach you figure out why. \u00a0It’s because of two reasons – 1) you are still in Finding A Job mode. \u00a0You frequently spend a LOT of energy and time trying to find one after being downsized, but now it’s over. \u00a0Now you can celebrate, and go out, and relax. \u00a0You can go back to having a hobby or two. \u00a0In addition,, 2) you have a dating profile that is all bullet points that don’t even match the kind of guy you really want. \u00a0We figure this out when we see that you put “Dating” in the productivity column because it’s a chore to you. \u00a0The profile is rewritten based on what you really want, a schedule of checking the site vs just taking a breather is created. \u00a0Now you spend much less time and effort. \u00a0You meet someone, and it could be from the new profile, or the fact that you’re going out more and just enjoying life with your friends. \u00a0It doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to take credit for you and adjusting your Love Rays. \u00a0You are, you’re going to take credit for it – the more relaxed, more focused Cindy. \u00a0(your name is Cindy in this scenario).<\/p>\n

What’s the difference?<\/h2>\n

So what’s the difference? \u00a0Lots. When you go to see the Super Love Coach, that stuff only applies to you if you are in need of finding a mate. \u00a0So like the vacuum cleaner that only works when you’re sad, it has limited application (assuming you even buy into the Love Rays concept). \u00a0It doesn’t address the underlying reason you were having troubles, and just applies a cookie cutter program approach. \u00a0That’s all you get and happy lovemaking and I hope you live happily ever after but if it doesn’t work out it’s probably something you did wrong and please come back for another program and yay money!<\/p>\n

The AFL system looks at everything you’re spending time, energy and resources on first. \u00a0It looks at the whole thing as coexisting, as a sliding puzzle. \u00a0It understands that to move one thing you have to move a couple other things. \u00a0You see that you simply don’t have the time yet, so we have to make room. \u00a0You see that your energy was depleted because you didn’t recharge. \u00a0The effects are long lasting, make sense, and are repeatable<\/em>. \u00a0It’s a vacuum cleaner that works all the time, and you don’t have to call the store every time you need to use it. \u00a0This same system applies to finding a new career, having more date nights with your spouse, getting your teens to help more with chores, balancing your work life with your home life, leading a more healthy life, finding a way to sail, and anything that you really want to do. It’s universal, long lasting and makes sense. \u00a0The more you use it, the more you get the whole “balance” concept.<\/p>\n

Compare and contrast<\/h2>\n

Various focused programs:<\/p>\n