They are all wrong
Are you one of them? Then you’re going to be offended. You’re going to say just how wrong I am, you’re going to become very defensive and you’re going to attempt to cite examples. Then you’ll read further and your examples will mostly fall apart. Your further defensive measures will kick in and you will dissect what I am saying. Then you’ll peruse my articles, my podcasts, my pages. You’ll skim for key words and stuff like that because you’re not really the type to read anything thoroughly. You’re not about empirical data – doubtful you are familiar with the “e” word anyway – and operate mostly on intuition. Everything you do is an emotional reaction to something in your life that was messed up and you’re just making this up as you go and trying to project your stuff on everyone else anyway. You’re like that, and it has served you well because of your prey.
Unless you are not one of them
Unless you’re not one of them, and instead you’re the people they attract. Then we still have time. If you’ve become tainted, become interested and like the sailors of olde your ship is being drawn to the jagged rocks of stupidity, reactionary narrow-minded logic and fluff due to your despair and frustration then allow me to stand in the way and put a stop to that. No, I’m not going to immediately direct you to my island of logic, systemic approaches, understanding and ultimate tranquility of accomplishment. I first just want to stop your ship from being disintegrated and you from being cast into the ocean of confusion where you sink deeper and deeper into sadness and hopelessness.
The Sirens of Self-Help
What am I talking about? I’m talking about the sirens of self help – the people who sing their sweet song of I Know Better Than You and If This Happens Do That and also I’m Really Attractive and Have Nice Teeth.
See, a long time ago before science and the scientific method took a solid foothold in our collective intelligence people would rise to notoriety because they noticed a thing. Once they noticed a thing they would then talk this thing up and explain your ills with it. And when that thing made no sense in a particular situation? They’d make up another thing. Yes, make up. You breathed bad air, so we have to make you breathe good air, and let me get the leeches. Feel better now? Sorry about having to remove your leg but hey, that was necessary. Why? Come back in a few days and I’ll have an explanation. Also that will be 150 silver pieces, your majesty, and now I’m in Spain. Bye.
The scientific method
The scientific method says essentially come up with a system, test it, test it again and then show it to your peers. Ask “What’s wrong with this?” You yourself test it for integrity and for validity. You yourself become a skeptic of your own creations and theories. It’s an awfully good method to get some concrete, helpful stuff out there. It’s not perfect, and sometimes it makes it hard for ‘radical’ theories to get much notice but no one’s getting leeches in the process.
Their process – and when I say “their” I mean the aforementioned Sirens of Self Help – is the opposite, much like the leech providers of olde. Their method is the opposite of the scientific method. And much like the providers of old they focused heavily on the pains. Have a pain? Do this. See ya. It’s a very lucrative process. It’s simple, works for a lot of people and requires very little other than two things – a little intuition and some confidence. It doesn’t hurt if you are the right gender, age and are attractive. There’s a reason that the sirens are mostly younger, attractive women. Because it works. I won’t go into the details of why, or why those same principles apply to real estate agents, spokespeople, recruiters and salespeople in general. It’s a universal appeal that works on men and women.
I’m in no way detracting from younger attractive women with charisma, I’m saying that this combination is perfect for a Siren of Self-Help, because that’s all they need.
Which ones are the Sirens? Well all of ’em. OK, ok, not all of them, just most of them. How do you identify them then? Here’s how to identify them and stop your ship from being pulled to the jagged rocks and the resulting frustration and anger. The following are common phrases and their transaltions
- Now is the time for you to do just do it/seek adventure. Purchase my services! Do it fast while you are in a heightened emotional, needful state before you come to your senses. This is repeated constantly on their web sites, their memes and posts.
- Don’t let them steal your dreams. When your friends and family question why you are handing them all that money ignore their common sense. Just do it!
- Here’s what to do when that thing happens. They have a common sense thing for you to do, it is incredibly obvious and granular. If you asked yourself the same question you’d say the same thing but because they said it with a big pretty smile you are going to do it. Never mind that it may not work and you can’t really use it again.
- Here’s how the ‘other’ people are – Typically used by relationship people explaining in detail about a SIDE of the equation. It’s always the side that you are not, which makes it easy to demonize them since you’re on the other side.
- Blah blah blah leads to happiness – They are going to appeal to your desire to be happy. Never mind that only you know what makes you happy, and that the very thing standing in your way might be you, and without figuring out what/why it’s never going to change.
OK, so what your (my) deal?
So you ask what my deal is and how I am not a siren? Clearly I am putting effort into deflecting you from them to me right? Well, no not directly. See, I’m not good at marketing. I’m not a fan of the ‘click funnel’ or the ‘sales funnel.’ I’m not big on giving out a three page useless PDF that just pats me on the back that is filled with links and thanks for your email because now I’m going to email you constantly until you buy something or shoot yourself or both. This is why my site(s) and my books are filled with information. This is why I have over 40 podcasts, each and every one of them containing more than one tangible take away that you can actually use. None of them are overly granular do this tiny thing when this tiny thing happens kind of thing.
Systems are everything
I’m all about systems – I always have been. I didn’t realize that until recently but I had always had that focus. I wrote about how our resilience and our ability to deal with tough stuff in our lives is a system. I wrote that new year’s resolutions won’t work if they are just an empty promise. They work when there is a system in place to make them work. When I created the Alchemy For Life coaching system I not only created a system, but literally an online visual system that allows people to see the process.
So when I approach how people connect to each other, how relationships – business and personal – work, I see it as a system. And I did. And when you create the correct system that accurately reflects what’s actually happening, then it works. it works not just for that one thing that happened, it works for everything. And it doesn’t involve leeches.
Something about teaching you to fish and eating and so forth
The old adage says that if you teach someone to fish then they can feed themselves forever, as opposed to just handing them a fish. Fortunately the Sirens aren’t handing you a fish. Oh no; they wouldn’t do that. Instead they charge you a few hundred dollars for that fish. If you want more fish then just ask, and pay. And other kinds of fish? Well, that’ll cost you too.
A system teaches you not only how to fish, but why that fishing works, so you can apply it to other fish. It takes a step back.
When people want to reach goals through the Alchemy For Life system, we don’t just write down a bunch of goals. Instead we take two steps back, and fill out a colorful visual sheet on line that shows where all their time, energy and resources are going. Once we have that in place we then start to see a picture, and from that picture the goals spring forth. They are not random goals – they actually make sense. And since everything is mapped out we can actually make the time and the energy (and even reserve the resources) to make that goal happen. And you might even want a different goal than you initially thought you wanted.
Do you see how that is radically different than their formula:
You want to do X? I will help you do X and give me a lot of money.
Instead you will be taught to fish.
The Status Game
So we haven’t even touched on what The Status Game is, and how that is radically different than ALL – and this time I do mean ALL – the other dating and relationship authors and coaches. The Status Game takes many steps back and explains HOW it all works, how it is all based on status, how there are three kinds, how we judge ourselves, or friends and our lover(s). What you do with this information can help you understand your relationship, yourself and even affect your marriage.
I think you have been more than gracious and kind in spending your time reading this. if you want to read further about Alchemy For Life or The Status Game, follow the links and read further. My facebook page keeps you up to date, the Instagram page includes updates and useful memes that are not designed to make you shove money at me in a reactionary manner. Instead they are meant to inform you and make you laugh.
Full disclosure of what I am selling:
- Speaking engagements
- Two books – The Status Game I and The Status Game II
- A card game, meant to be fun and tongue in cheek and demonstrate status – The Status Game
What I give away for free:
- A weekly podcast. Ten minutes and a useful article, or a one hour interview with someone amazing
- Articles on time, energy and resources, and The Status Game concepts
- Advice to those that ask, within reason
Check out Mark’s fourth book: Alchemy for Life – Formulas for Success.
Mark Bradford developed a system to achieve goals, manage your energy and understand and strengthen your path – it’s Alchemy for Life.
He writes, coaches and speaks on the subject. For more information, tips and tricks, like Mark Bradford on Facebook, follow Mark Bradford on Twitter.
Schedule a 15 minute chat.
Articles are posted regularly on AlchemyFor.Life, and LinkedIn.