Once you decide what you need to do you actually have to do it.  If you are not willing to do that then one of two things must happen next:

  • You give up on the thing you are trying to accomplish
  • You BECOME willing to do it.

Giving up – it’s not what you think

If you decide that the thing you want is not worth the action you need to get it then you need to re-prioritize what you do want.  It is indeed a balance between effort and desire.   Not all things are worth it, or a good fit for you.  You may have wanted to be famous, or make a living at a certain skill.  But the price may be too high, or you may find you didn’t realize that you wanted something *like* that.  This happens all the time, and is part of the natural process of reaching the things you want.  This complication is what daunts people, makes them doubt what they want, and makes them feel like they failed.

That’s not failure. It’s not failure any more than quitting a job that wasn’t a good job to get an awesome job is failure, or breaking up with a boyfriend that’s not right for you to find one you marry.

There’s a stigma in goals, goal achievement and success that causes people to feel really bad when they don’t achieve a goal, or even decide to “give up” on one. You are lead to believe that once you choose a goal you should move towards it with undying fanaticism, and consequently spend a lot of money with someone helping you to do so.

Obviously it’s a fairly fine line between continually giving up on anything and everything you want because it’s too hard, and deciding a goal isn’t for you, and wastes your Time, Energy and Resources.

Become willing to do it

If the thing you want is something you really want, and you realize or discover or are shown that you are not willing to do what it takes to get there, then you are at the most magical of crossroads. You are at a moment in your life that can and will be looked back upon epicly like your life is a movie; the music will swell, the camera will pan, you will move as if time has slowed down.

You are about to change – in one way or another.

You are either about to push forward and become the person needed to get what you want – what you are meant to have – or you are going to pull back and perhaps demonstrate that you don’t really want it, aren’t ready for it or, well, just don’t deserve it.

In other words you are going to change for the better or the worse.

Again, this is not a do it til it hurts or no pain no gain or keep giving me the money because I know you can do it rah rah session. These are tangible instructions. If I were you and I read this I’d think, “Wait, what does this guy want? He’s telling me it’s Ok to give up in some cases?”

I want you to succeed, in the things you are meant to succeed in, and I don’t want you to suffer needlessly. Give that some thought. Think back on things that you consider failures, things you did and didn’t do. Which ones simply weren’t right for you, which ones (if any) are ones that you know you really wanted but you just weren’t willing to do what was required.

And this is why I’m called the Anti Coach.