We’ve talked about tension before. We’ve talked about tension vs. something being at rest and what that means for us. But now I want to talk about the tension of disagreement.

Everything’s going to be OK

Everything is going to be OK. Does that relieve you? It might, especially if it comes from a higher status individual. But it doesn’t really do anything. It’s a perfectly acceptable phrase if you are doing everything you can, or you’re beaten up and need a break. But what if you haven’t really even started working towards a goal?

Try this

Try this out. You are single and really want to meet someone. Do you prefer to say:

“Don’t worry, there is a plan, I’ll will meet the right person / I can feel it / I know it’s in my future.”


“I’m never going to meet the right person.”

Well of course EVERYONE around you will scold you for saying the second one! They will say that’s self sabotage, and that you are “putting that out into the universe” and that “You’re going to fail if you think that way.”

I disagree.

But then there is nothing to do if you only immerse yourself in those other phrases You’re removing the task, the fight, the struggle, the… tension. Get it?

Try it yourself. I submit to you that if you say “God/The Universe has a plan, everything will be fine” then you will be immersed in fuzzy, protective, useless warmth.

Winnie the pooh

Now try the opposite. “Oh my god this is NEVER going to work!” or “I am never going to meet someone great!”

Those are strong statements that your brain will challenge. Your brain is made to challenge logic, and statements, and weigh statements. If it’s wrong and you WILL meet someone your brain will then say “Well yes, if you keep doing THAT. You have to think of something else… think think think!”

Your brain isn’t challenged and your problem solving ability is blanketed with it’s ok, everything will be OK and something will fall out of the sky if you always give yourself those statements.

With friends like these…

OK, why do friends do that? Why do they always just give you these statements?

Because they don’t want to suffer. If they tell you it will all be fine, then you’ll shut up, and then talk about something else, all the while silently suffering without a solution.

Greatness meets tension

If you do the research you will find that the people who accomplished the most didn’t avoid tension. They saw the problems and recognized them head on.

So, try it at least once – look in the mirror, yell up and the ceiling and say “Wow, does this suck!” and see what happens next.

It might just surprise you…