Become ceremonious

What is ceremony?

If you look it up you’ll be told it is a “ritual observance or procedure.” Most cases refer to weddings, and that’s good because that’s the example I used in the podcast.

Why do I want more in my life?

You want more if you’re trying to make a habit stick, or something is important to you but know one seems to understand that—including you. In other words you want something to be more important but haven’t been able to figure out how to do that. I get it. I’ve been there.

How do I add more ceremony?

Let’s talk about how you can add more ceremony in your life which will make you feel better in general, make you feel happier, and help you make a habit stick.

Transcript of episode:

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Become Ceremonious: The Power of Ritual

“Become ceremonious.”

It sounds cool, doesn’t it? You’ve heard people say “become ungovernable,” but you’ve likely never heard anyone say “become ceremonious” until now. So, what do I mean by that, and why would you want to do it?

Being human is complex. As I explore in my “Do It to a Fault” seminar, we don’t just “do things.” Our actions are affected by who we’re with, our mood, and the ceremony surrounding them.

The truth is, we tend to create ceremonies for the most important things in our lives.

Why We Use Ceremonies

Think about weddings, funerals, graduations, and parties. We take something important and we make a big deal out of it. We conform the event to a specific series of movements and moments—a ceremony. We do this because the event is important, and the ceremony drives home that importance, giving it more impact.

If you’ve decided to spend the next 50 or 70 years with someone, you don’t just say, “Hey, we’re together now.” You have a big, giant ceremony to tell everyone, in no uncertain terms, how important this commitment is. The same is true for a funeral; we go through specific rituals to honor the importance of a person’s life.

These events follow a familiar structure. A wedding has the ceremony, the pictures, the reception, the honeymoon. This structure, this ritual, is what gives it its weight.

How to Become Ceremonious in Your Daily Life

So, how does this apply to you? I’m asking you to use this same mindset—this same sense of importance—for the things in your own life. No, I don’t mean you need a big ceremony to empty the dishwasher. But for the things that are or should be important to you, becoming ceremonious can create really impactful changes.

Let me give you an example. One day, I decided that Sunday night was my “Tea Ceremony” night. At sundown, I turn off all electronics—no way to reach me. I listen to inspirational meditation music, have tea, and just clear my mind. It’s my time to think about the previous week and the week to come. It’s a routine, and a routine is just a baby ceremony, isn’t it?

How can you enhance a routine and turn it into a ceremony?

Let’s say you work out at a certain time on a certain day. What if you connected other adjacent actions to it? You decide to stop work a little earlier to get in the proper mindset. You listen to a specific song on the way to the gym and another on the way back. Afterward, you engage in another act of self-care. By connecting these other things, you’ve created a workout and improvement ceremony.

A ceremony tells your brain, “This is important.” When you do that, your brain raises the status of that activity above all the little nagging things that bother you, like “Did you pay the water bill?” We don’t think about those things at a wedding, and we shouldn’t think about them during our workout ceremony. You create time and emotional borders around that important thing.

Where is Ceremony Missing in Your Life?

I bet if you take stock of the things in your life that are slipping—the things you really want to do but aren’t—those things don’t have any ceremony connected to them. If you say, “I really want to work out twice a week,” but your plan is “I don’t know, whenever I have time,” I’ll bet it rarely gets done.

This applies to everything, including seeing your friends. If you say, “We’re going to see each other once a month at this restaurant,” I’ll bet you see them regularly. If you just say, “We should get together soon,” seven months will pass.

The concept behind this ties directly into my “Do It to a Fault” seminar, which is about connecting something you want to do (or don’t want to do) to a Feeling, Activity, Universal, Location, or Time. If you get the concept of a ceremony, you can get that concept.

So, I would urge you to check out the seminar—you’ll be surprised at the price. Thank you for listening.

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